Very tall tales of BoBonPo: SHORE LEAVE, Sharan and Four cops. as told by master storyteller 'Ape' Praxis (and punctuated, spellchecked and grammerised by JimLad100)

"Cpok, How you feeling Cpok?...shame about shore leave
"Grr, what the Hell! happened to Sharan, Ape , the Captain's not pleased!"

"Now, well.... that's a story, how did it happen? Well lets start at the beginning....

Team 3's on first Shore Leave, we all break up in a dozen directions. Left standing there is me, Sharan and Israel - baby sitting "The Dibbler". Hands and Sharan we only got one thing in mind - its Party time. (Dibbler he's only got one thing in his crazy head, tongues). We hit the first dock bar - drinks all round - gets slow after a while and we move on. Fed up of walking, I hire a lifter and crash it, without warning, through the plate glass window of "The Smokin Hole" bar, brilliant shower of glass sprinkles down, Hands says "oh shitfuck", Sharan just gwaps like fish and Dibbler no reaction no change. I'm telling you Cpok you wanna get pysch evaluation on that guy he's strange.

Waddaya mean I need testing, maybe I'm a little crazy sure, but that guy's spooky.

Anyways back to the bar, the barman reaches for his shotgun as I reach for my tunic, and then he lowers the gun as I throw him a wad of cash more than enough to rebuild the shop front three times over and more. Then the Party really begins. Bums bozoos, highlife and lowlife and the weirdest stationlife - everyone, and I mean everyone, on the station turns up for the Fiesta, its a mega rage. There are fights, there's gambling, there's gyrating, there's copulating, there's all sorts of shit going down - I got me a mess of folk around me listening to spin me stories - its great.

About 20 hours later we're all slowing down and our money's on the way out and we looks like the greatest party this station has since ever is about done. For this 70 year old (you know its my birthing day coming soon?) I felt like another party soon - you up it for Cpok?

Okay don't hassle it - diverted real easy you know.

We all leave the Smokin Hole and find a place to wind down and hunker up with our night friends. I wake up I'm about done with partying and go off and do a bit of preaching, I give a lovely sermon about the first evil and AI and..

Oh shit, I remember don't get diverted - back to Sharan - got it. Now what I hears happened is this, Dibbler Hands and Sharan have got enough juice in their tanks for some more partying, they find somewhere, the Missing Link bar, not sure, anyway they start in again, but this gets out of hand, Dibbler's got a whole fistful of your pills and he's handing them like its a bargain zone and Sharan he's going wild like you never seen. Anyway the prudes in station security sat the last party out - but this one 'aint dockside and its in a regular zone so they send down with a bunch of uniformed thugs in armour. I thought this was GFA run station, shit man even the GFA is going conservative on us all.

Oh yeah - back to Sharan, lets see - oh yeah Sharan goes out front naked from the ankles up shouts "want some" and the Cops they 'aint taking no shit just go out at him, but they don't know who they messing with, this is Sharan and ex marine a bloody perfect, the boy who rassled a raptor when he was five! The way I heard it the Sharan drops the first cop and pokes out one of her eyes, sterilizes the second cop with a kick to the groin, an overhand chop and he performs lobotomy on the third cop, cripples the fourth cop with a kick to the knee and finally fifth cop gets him after he's run out of arms and legs. Then Sharans on the floor a flailing ball of fists and legs but the cops give a him kicking and smacking enough to subdue a raptor in heat before they haul him off to the station hospital.

Boy is he one tough cookie.

Thats when Hands when hits the red button and calls the crew in that Sharan's in police custody at the station Hospital. The guys get a plan together. I love a plan. This was the situation the cops put Sharan in a secure roon, laid out dripped up bandages allover, healing casts on all the stuff you do Cpok. The Cops got two on door duty outside and one inside. One the guys, The Dibbler gets inside the room by claiming to be Sharan's friend, but he can't spring him on his own - the cops have got Sharan wrapped in a tighter spot than a turkey in an oven.

The others go into action they use their smarts. Cpok, you would have been proud. Zak she gets some fake Id of her new friend Madame Fif-fi (...now thats a really GOOD story.......)

Waddaya mean stow it - put down the hypo Cpok.. where was me? - yup Zak she gets the fake ID , Wallace she gets the uniforms, nurses uniform for herself (..maybe you could play doc and nursie with her ...) - oww! ... ok she gets some court official uniforms for the rest of the gang.

Everyones got a saturday night special. The plan is for the gang to go into fake out the cops as court officials with a warrant to move the prisoner to another location, neat idea huh. Wallace running interfence from the corridor outside the room and transfer Sharan from a trolley to wheelchair in parked down the corridor held by Wallace and then make a quick exit to the outside and then dash to the SS Material Girl and hope Capt Weiser can pull us out of Station before the authorities can stop the ship.

What happened? Its tense - it's sweaty - but the fake ID and papers looks good, A few surly questions from the guard cops but they've rocks in their heads, and then they let the gang in to "transfer". The gang unhook Sharon from all the tubes and drops and stuff and then they are on the way out down the corridor where they transfer Sharan to a wheelchair, and rapidly dump the uniforms. Then the alarm gets raised and the cops coming chasing down the corridor looking this way and that way, Wallace misdirects them a bit and the rest of the gang exits the hospital easy but brisk, whilst the cops are still in the hospital.

Outside the hospital the gang moves for the docks and customs, and ahead of them is a swarm of cops and swat guys, coming right at them, they hold their breath and pray....and the cops rush past them towards the hospital, phew to close.

The gang gets onto the ship's shuttle after clearing custums and transfer to a shuttle and then they are all waiting for multicannons to rip them to pieces but it don't come and then then they relax as they redock with the Material Girl.

Done, dusted finished not a shot, clean away. Boy though is the Captain icy mad or what, man Sharan's laid out warpped up in bandages like he's the star of Mummy 13 the umpteenth remake but the Captain still rips into him with all four barrels. Boy it 'aint the doghouse with the Captain its more like a deep hole full of bile venom and rotten dead things, makes more than a little queasy just thinking about being on the wrong side of the Captain.

Cpok you got something to ease settle my stomach? I think i'm going to throw up..